Resignation Letter...

To whom it may concern:
Please consider this my 2 weeks notice. I will be resigning my position as..

1. Repeater - I will no longer say “ don’t hit Harley”, “we don’t throw food on the floor”, ‘go to time out” over and over again!
2. Rear-end Repair -I will no longer walk away from a diaper change wearing more desitin than the one actually getting his diaper changed.
3. Detailer - I will no longer hold down a screaming 2 year old to brush his teeth, clip his nails etc. all done in an effort to keep him well groomed.
4. 'Momma Ashley’s Body Reading'…30 bucks a session - I will no longer be interpreting the following…poop ,rashes ,boo boo’s and crazy and mysterious scabs.
5. Roach Coach -I will no longer drive a car filled more with questionable food scraps than actual gasoline!
6. Housekeeping - I will no longer do endless loads of laundry all do to a ever changing family.
7. Private Security - I will no longer be shadowed by a dog afraid of his own shadow.
8. Financial …Data Entry clerk, Analyst, CFO, CEO, President and janitor. - That sums it up!

Please feel free to bring in a replacement at anytime… I WILL TRAIN!